I think of her everyday

I'm starting off with a picture I took Friday morning at 8:30 am.  It was still a bit dark and I was on my way to work.  Beautiful and peaceful.

Friday I cried.  I cried from Bucquoy to Archicourt.  I guess it was just one of those days.  I could see Monday arriving and it was just hard.  5 years tomorrow that Maman is gone.  When you're young, you never think that your mother will die.  She's your mother.  She's going to be around for ever.  I remember when she turned 42 and we had a cake and Philippe, Diane and I sang her Happy Birthday.  I was crying.  She asked why and I said because you're old and in my head, old people died.   In those days, anyone over 25 was old.  Actually in today's world, anyone over 35 is old, that is why I can go into the movies in Charlottetown for Seniors.  They don't dare ask my age.  For them, I'm old and for me, it's cheap.  So who's the winner.....ME. 

The week-end went by.  Friday I dropped off a few things to the guides and I stayed for awhile.  We sat on the floor around the coffee table, we ate cheese, bread and crackers and chatted.  It was nice to be around them and then I came home to Zina.   Saturday I went to the Soldes (sales) and bought a few things, then Christi, André, Jess, Laura and I went to the movies.  I had seen it Les Intouchables and it was still sold out.  It's been here since November.  We were in the first row.   There's nothing like being close.  We couldn't all sit together so Laura, Jess and I sat together and my two saviors sat elsewhere.  André said he could hear me laugh. 

Today I finally dismembered my counter.  Well I don't know if you call it dismembered, dismantled, oh well, I took it apart.  That counter was sure heavy.  I dropped it on its side and it dented the floor.  Like it put a hole in the floor.  I must cover it with a rug.  They'll never know, then I'll leave the carpet here.  Ah this head is always thinking.  I think it's a very good plan.  So after 36 screws, 8 huge bolts (and that is just on the top part) I finally got it off.  Then I attacked the leg with 14 screws and 2 huge bolts.  Yes I counted them just in case any of my friends reading this come over and count them to see if I'm telling the truth.  It is now against the wall and I'm not moving it until the landlord comes.  It's too heavy.

This is the hole in the floor that I made when I dropped the counter.  Good think my foot wasn't there because I would have had to go to Emergency.  For real this time.  Oh wouldn't I love (not really) to see them and say I'M BACK.  No it wouldn't be funny.  We're suppose to go bowling this week and I wouldn't be able to go.

Zina left today.  I think she missed her maman and papa.  I suppose Christi and André will have her next.   Zina's mom liked the pictures of put on my blog.  Christi, do you have pictures of Zina.....the competition is on.

So all in all, I found the week-end long and I was lonely and I was missing my mother very much.  Some people say that their mother are their best friend.  For me, my mother was never my best friend, she was over and beyond a best friend. She was my inspiration.  She was a part of my heart and now it's gone and it aches.  I realized as I grew older that it doesn't matter how old you are or how old your mother is, you are never ready.  They get the title of mother and they go through life worrying about us and encouraging us and we need them.  If you still have your mother, look at her and think of all the things she did for you and still does.  You are lucky, you are blessed.  Embrace it.   

So I choose to have a good day tomorrow and remember her for you she was.  She was a great woman and someone you always wanted in your life.  A very good listener and very good mother.  She was very proud of her three kids (me more, but we already went through that) and she would always say,  I am so lucky to have 3 good children, you have never had a fight among you and you love each other so much.  That was the richness that we had in our home by being her children.  And this is true, Diane, Philippe and I have never, ever fought.  (of course they would know I would win) but we have never fought.  She showed us values, respect and she said always help someone.  It will make you feel good.  I must have missed that memo. Only kidding.  So Maman tomorrow I will be there and I will be happy.  I know that you will be with me and that you are proud of me. 

So goodnight everyone and have a good evening.  Bed time for me.